Letter 59

Dear Herkus,

I’m writing this as we take a break in a canyon. After a lot of strange excitement at the estate this morning and a quick trip to pick up some orders from the market we set off to search for a person named Demitri. I guess he is some kind of traitor to the League of Storms, so I hope that means he is an ally. I heard someone once say “an enemy of my enemy is my friend.” That’s an odd definition of friend in my opinion. I will be the first to admit I’m not great at relationships of any kind, (although I am working hard everyday to improve, and Leef even said he felt that I should get a higher level book of etiquette because I’ve pretty much memorized the one he gifted me) but that feels a bit odd.

Before he left I spoke with Kanos who was headed towards the Sunsmith Tribe. I’ve never had any dealings with the craftsmen centaurs, but aside from the Vega I do know that they are the most respected. I hope it’s alright but I asked him while he was that way if he could find out a bit about the Foxtail. I can’t help but wonder if Duran is still the chief or if his son Vanyel is now in charge. That’s a horrifying prospect. Vanyel was so fearsome when we were children, he could only have gotten worse with age right? Duran wasn’t kind but he wasn’t overtly hostile either. The memory is hazy, but I recall his face as my father’s funeral rites to Amalja were said. He seemed genuinely sad. Best not to dwell on that though I suppose. 

Anyway, we found Demitri, as well as a bunch of others who were looking for him. As usual there was a lot of fighting. I felt rusty after a week of little to no casting but I believe our group works very well with each other and the games have only improved that. 

Rendu, Leef and the others came up with an elaborate ruse to gain entry into the LoS camp. (Shadow has been teaching me acronyms. The military uses them to save time and space in documents. Interesting right? Wait, I’m guessing you know what an acronym is and I just wasted a lot of space explaining what they are, and that defeats the purpose, arg!) 

It worked really well, (not the acronym but the plan to infiltrate the camp.)  I used a lizard form. Similar to the ones that used to come inside your home and eat the bugs. I always found them cute. But I forgot how small they are. Torag is huge and I’m not that short, imagine seeing him from the eyes of a tiny reptile.

I wanted to ask you something. There was a spell you taught me in order to help me interact with others… I’ve never used it, but I watched Clio use it today on one of the guards… Is there a way to unlearn a spell? To remove it from my memory? I only ask this because although it’s a common spell, this was my first time seeing someone use it up close and I just felt…

I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say but basically the guards were being difficult even though Rendu and Leef are very adept at getting others to do what they need them to do. Then Clio cast a spell and one of the guards was completely on her side. She was so subtle I’m not sure who all noticed. Clio is beautiful regardless but she truly illustrated the appeal of a nymph. But watching the guard’s countenance change, seeing him unwillingly and unknowingly seem to care about her and her wellbeing all of the sudden… As if he were still him, but compelled to care…

An e sin a tha am mallachd seo a’ dèanamh? Mura h-eil toil shaor agad nad fhaireachdainnean … tha sin eagallach1.

Clio is very mindful of her magic and how she uses it. She never reads minds intrusively and like I said, I know she’s had this spell, and perhaps she has used it many times just not to my knowledge, but I have to believe she wouldn’t cast it without good cause. 

I just… It’s not as though I have forgotten my curse. Eos knows the constant ache in my heart and on my back are plenty to remind me. But when I am surrounded so continuously by people who I care about it’s easier to remove it from the forefront of my mind. Then something like this happens and my stomach hurts and I can’t help but feel desperation to protect, well everyone. I need to find some kind of answer, some kind of way to break or even lessen this curse. The only sure routes I have are the death of the Titans or my own. One feels impossible even with the strength we have gathered. And the other – I don’t want to die. Does that make me selfish? If I don’t find a way to fix this I’m at greater risk each day of it manifesting and tearing down another person and yet another generation. 

Scorpion Island and the Lotus Witch will hopefully have some answers. I should talk to Pholon more and see what else I can find out about that place. “Knowledge gives power to the powerless.” I read that somewhere. 

I hope you are well. The mushrooms you like should be in full force by now. Promise me you wont imbibe too much. 

gaol agus gràdh,


1 Druidic: Is that what this curse does? To have no free will in your emotions… That’s terrifying.