Letter 46

Herkus ghràdhaich,

Thug mi sùil air na reultan an oidhche seo agus mi a ’laighe air an fheur, agus a’ faireachdainn gun robh an cruinne-cè a ’tàladh orm ann an gàirdeanan Eos. Dh ’èist mi ri tònaichean sòlaimte Rendu a’ cluich clàrsach a mhàthar agus tha mo chridhe a ’goirteachadh air a shon. Tha e a ’goirteachadh airson Leef, Clio, Actaeon, Torag, agus Shadow. Tha mi airson a bhith a ’tàladh an dochann aca mar a chrath thu mi. Gun a thoirt air falbh, chan e pàirt dhiubh a th ’ann. Ach gus a dhèanamh nas fhasa tha cuideam air na guailnean1.

This day was full of surprises. I woke up not long ago and felt the need to finish this part three of my letter to you. I know I’ve written them individually but the pages would overwhelm you if I fit everything into one. Best to give you my accounts in small dosages I suppose. 

We found Palladia’s stolen harp. I ended up speaking with the satyr who stole it. We were trying to make our way quietly but Torag seemed to find every rock and twig available to kick or snap. Clio and I stepped out to draw attention away from the rest. There were several satyrs and a dryad enjoying wine and music. Well my mouth did us no good. While I don’t think I offended him, the satyr could tell I knew who he was and the power of the instrument he carried. It was then Rendu stepped out and informed him his thievery would not stand. He then threatened to hold this instrument hostage or break it if we didn’t comply. Through Clio speaking in our minds (yes she can do that, she’s so amazing!) we were able to make a quick action plan to get the harp away from him. The sad part is Leef underestimated his strength of magic and used a very overpowered wand and killed the satyr. Instantly. Just dead like that. The harp fell but it was okay. Leef was not okay and then everything happened so fast. A water elemental attacked me, another attacked Clio. There was a lot of running, shooting and then the most… Insane? Maybe that’s not the right word… Unexpected? Yeah, an unexpected thing happened. Rendu suddenly had beautiful wings and he spoke with such power and authority. I couldn’t see his face but honestly I might have fainted if I had. He told the remaining fey now was the time for them to leave and leave they did! 

Imagine the most beautiful bird feathers you’ve ever seen and they would not compare to his. I wish I could describe them with even an ounce of elegance. I admit I was overwhelmed and distracted and when the water elemental came at me again all I could think was to freeze the stupid thing in it’s tracks but in doing so injured myself and our new friend Ilharg. I’m so foolish. Everything wrapped up rather quickly after that. Rendu healed Clio and then offered to heal me but I was so humiliated by my actions and reactions that I started to refuse and then he touched me on the arm… It was the faintest of touches, nothing really by most people’s standards but all I can say is the sudden warmth of healing was so familiar yet so different from him. I’ve had others cure my wounds before or even give me basic healing but this was different. Is this the supernal power his mother gives him as his goddess? Wow. I thanked him and promptly ran away ran to Leef. 

We got back to town and laid the body of Boreas the satyr in Shadow’s courtyard. Then Leef and I went to the bathhouse while the other went to the palace to find Dia and ask her a few things. There, I tried to encourage Leef to talk about things, but he was reluctant. He doesn’t want to hurt people. I get that. After knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end, no doubt his empathy and compassion for others amplifies his pain when it does happen. He doubts himself as a hero because of this, but I think this is what makes him a hero. To recognize there there are many shades of grey within individuals is truly a gift. He also told me more about Health, his husband, who was killed last year. I wish I could have known him. He sounds like a wonderful person. 

He helped me style my hair with some braids tonight after our baths and then I received a sending spell from Clio saying they were going to a tavern. I told him more about my parents and Aglia. Somehow at one point Clio was brought up and his blush made me think of something. He blushes and sputters about her the way I seem to with Rendu. Even I can make a fair assumption as to why based on my own new understanding of things. More than anything I just want him to be happy, and her as well. If they find that together then all the better. Or if he just wants to enjoy these feelings and nothing more that’s fine, too. Eos knows I am not one to judge. 

We caught up with the rest of our group at the Tavern after collecting Ilharg from the house. Once we arrived and got a few drinks, Rendu called up Leef to play music with him. They were wonderful. My heart felt so light and happy listening to them. I bought Rendu a drink to say thank you for healing me earlier when I was so stupid, as well as to tell him I really enjoyed his playing. He’s incredibly talented. I admit I sort of blacked out as soon as I got his attention. The next thing I knew he dedicated his next song to me and every eye in the place seemed to be looking at me and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. (Ach tha mi ag aideachadh, ged a bha mi a ’còmhdach m’ aodann fad na h-ùine le nàire, nach b ’urrainn dhomh stad a bhith a’ gàireachdainn2.)

Back at the house there was a bit more drinking but the fun shifted to a more somber tone. I watched Clio and Dia having fun and I admit I felt a heavy rock of fear land in my stomach. What if Clio realizes that she doesn’t need me as a friend? There’s still a part of me that worries this curse will take away everyone I love. It makes me so greedy and selfish for those moments with the others that are just mine. I want to prolong them because I worry it might be my last. 

After a poor attempt of getting Leef to dance a slow dance with Clio (an idea that I didn’t fully form thanks to the wine I had previously) I changed into an owlsquirrel and went to a dark place behind where Rendu was playing. I must have fallen asleep quickly. I woke up not long ago to stillness in the air and a crick in my neck. I thought I would write before I went to my actual bed for the rest of the night. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. 

How are you? How is your pipe blend holding out? Maybe I can send you more? I’ll see what I can find the next time we visit the market. 

I miss you so very much. 

gaol agus gràdh,


1 Druidic: Dear Herkus, I looked at the stars this night while grounded to the grass, and felt the universe cradle me in the arms of Eos. I listened to the solemn tones of Rendu playing his mother’s harp and my heart hurts for him. It hurts for Leef, Clio, Actaeon, Torag, and Shadow. I want to cradle their hurt the way you cradled mine. Not to take it away, no it is a part of them. But to ease its weight upon their shoulders.

2 Druidic: But I admit that even though I was covering my face the whole time with embarrassment, I couldn’t stop smiling.