Day 4

If you find this, please share my story.

Today was a hard day. I didn’t know how hard this was going to be. Being alone is the worst. Why didn’t I talk to that kid, dammit?

The strangest thing happened this morning. While I was moving water from the well to the bunker’s water barrels, I heard a car. It was the mail carrier. He didn’t see me, but I watched him put a small package into the mailbox. Cyanide pills. I guess the government wants to give its citizens a quick and easy way out.

I had to go to town today for supplies and medicine. And I wanted to find that kid again. I stole a bike from Mr. Trainer’s garage. Town is only a few miles away. I should have been able to get in and out in just a few hours. But plans don’t always work out the way we want them to. I was going to ride out to my car and drive that. The car’s been vandalized. Windows are broken and the gas tank is empty.

Town is quiet, and that’s very strange. There should be cars, pedestrians, dogs, and the like. Except for the lack of people, everything looks exactly the same. Hell, even the traffic signals are still working. It’s quiet, except for the birds.

The survival book says that I need vitamins. The door to the corner drug store was locked, but a small rock fixed that pretty fast. Unfortunately, the alarm in the back of the store started screaming. I kicked the glass from the door, ran in, and grabbed whatever I could. That was so stupid! If those men, those raiders, are out and about, I’m sure they’ll have heard all that.

I rode along the highway back to the farm. Along the way, it started to rain. I think this is where the end of the world really hit me. Like, finally hit me. I was passing abandoned cars, passing my own, before I found a minivan in a ditch. I passed this minivan earlier this morning, but for some reason I decided to check it out now. There was nobody inside. Just a pack of cigarettes and a granola bar.

The baby doll got to me, though. It was in the mud just outside the van. There I stood, hovering over this baby doll in the rain, while the world around me goes to hell. The asteroid – Yama – isn’t even here, but the world is ending already. Raiders, guns, abandoned toys. Whose doll is this? Why did they leave it behind?

There aren’t going to be any more babies. What am I doing here? Why am I even trying? What’s the point? Collecting water from a pump, scavenging cans of black beans from Mr. Trainor’s kitchen, stealing granola bars from minivans?

I sat in the mud and cried for too long. I’m not hopeless yet. I have a bunker. I have water (not enough, yet, but I’ll get there), and I can find food. I’m trying.

The power went out tonight. Power comes from Mr. Trainer’s house, I guess. Mr. Trainer, I don’t think you were nearly as prepared as you always bragged. Your solar generator doesn’t work. I learned this the hard way while trying to flip the switch to the generator. The few mechanical lessons my dad ever taught me – most of which involved him getting mad because I was holding the flashlight wrong – came in handy. The generator gets power from the solar panel, but the connector was busted. I stole a connector from the backup generator. That means I can charge the bunker’s batteries, but I no longer have a backup.

Today was a hard day. I’m sorry, kid, but I’m not going to look for you anymore. It’s too dangerous. I hope you’re okay. Maybe I’ll see you on the road again.