Day 37

If you find this, please share my story.

We have food. We have water. We have air. We have power. We have everything we need. And I think we’re out of time.

The last few days have been a fight for our lives, our little weird family. The girl helped me get everything situated and sorted. The child has plenty to keep him busy for a year, I guess. The water recycling system is still gross but we’ve made it work.

The raiders haven’t all killed themselves or each other yet. I found that out the hard way. I went out alone while the girl stayed with the child. I found an older woman in the street crying. She had been shot by a man on the roof of the electronics store. He spotted me and started firing, but lost me when I hid in a dumpster.

What is happening in this world? Yama gets closer every night, and it’s making people crazier and crazier. I am not immune. I killed people just to stay alive. I tell myself I’m doing it for them – my family in the bunker. Am I so different? Am I better than the sniper on the roof? Why was he shooting at me? Why did he kill that woman in the street? The want of food, I guess. That’s the only thing I can think of. He wants to live, same as me. We have different ways of doing it, but it’s ultimately the same goal. Yama is coming. We want to live.

I slept in the dumpster because I was so scared. I had only one bullet. It wasn’t going to get me back to the girl and the child. Relax and focus, I told myself. The sniper never found me. I woke up stiff and sore, but I was alive and well. Everything outside was quiet. They must be so worried about me.

It was raining when I woke up. As I write about this, I wonder when will be the next time I ever get to see a massive storm again. Lightning was flashing and the sky was dark. Days like this scare me because I can’t see Yama and predict when it will end the world.

A raider found me as I was trying to get home. He was at the end of the street. But unlike the others, he wasn’t armed with a gun. He had a dog, though, and he commanded it to kill. I used my last bullet and got lucky. The man ran away, crying and angry.

Here’s a thought. Why does killing a dog feel so different than killing a person? The girl and the child held me for hours, I think, when I got home, soaked and muddy and broken as I am.

Everything sucks. Right? It just sucks. The asteroid isn’t here, and my world is ending.

I know I wrote this already, but I’m doing to do it again. I’m glad I let her in the bunker. I’m glad we adopted the child. After they comforted me, we all went outside to shower in the rain. It felt good to be clean again, if that’s what we can call it. We have a lot of soap saved up, and I feel like I smell a lot better now.

The storm calmed down and the night sky cleared up. There it is again. Bright in the sky. It’s almost here. It’s almost time.